Even the free stuff isn’t free

It was June of 2006, and the Miami Heat were in the NBA Finals for the first time in franchise history. For a native South Floridian and basketball junkie, this was a big deal. A really big deal.

My best buddy Jason called to let me know that he was able to get tickets to game 3 in Miami. Jason and I go back a long way…as in, went to pre-school and grade school together, shared a desk in 4th grade, roommates after graduating college, and groomsmen in each other’s weddings. And he is as much of a basketball junkie as I am, so flying down from NC was a no-brainer.

When I got to Miami, I asked how much I owed him for the tickets. It wasn’t that I expected him to accept my money. I’d never even think of taking his, and I’m fairly certain he feels the same way. I just wanted him to know that I didn’t take for granted that he was able to score tickets to one of the biggest sporting events in Miami history.

He told me not to worry about it, that he didn’t have to pay for the tickets. To which I responded, “You got them for free?” His answer — “Nothing is free.” — has stuck with me to this day. So much so that I frequently use a variation: “Nothing in life is free. Not even the free stuff.”

What did Jason mean at the time? He was able to get the tickets through a family friend. That relationship was built over decades, and it wouldn’t exist without the mutual generosity of his family and their friend. Recognizing that relationship allowed me to appreciate why Jason was even in a position to offer me a ticket, and it reminded me of the importance of my relationship with Jason’s family (who has always treated me as family), not just my relationship with Jason.

Compare that to "free" tickets to another sporting event that I received years later. My account rep from my largest supplier called to offer tickets to the last round of the Masters at Augusta National. Golf isn’t my favorite sport in the world to play or watch, but the chance to see Augusta National in person was enticing. I’ve always wanted my vendors to know that I value their ability to remained focused on helping my team and my customers much more so than their access to “free” tickets or other goodies for me, so I rarely asked for tickets. In that context, saying yes came with little cost other than simply thanking my vendor for the tickets. And watching Jordan Spieth win his first ever Master’s Championship turned out to be quite the treat.

So how can you apply this in your life? Whenever you’re offered free stuff, start by asking yourself a few simple questions:

• What does the free stuff “cost” to the person offering it? Is it time, leveraging a relationship, money, or something else?
• What have you done to help the person who is offering the favor, or what could you do to help in the future?
• Is something expected of you in return? Are you comfortable with those expectations, particularly relative to how you value the favor?
• Will accepting the favor keep you from paying for something that may suit your needs much better? Will accepting the favor make it harder to get the outcome you need? Would you be better served paying for the same or similar item or service?
• How would you return the favor and how quickly can you do it?
• Will accepting the favor help strengthen your relationship?

By giving it a little thought, you’ll have a much easier time making a decision that helps cultivate the relationships that matter and avoid unexpected disappointment.